How to be unpredictable
Humans are creatures of habit, and no matter what we try to do we fall into patterns of behavior. Sometimes one of the most comforting things about a person can be their predictability – if we know how our boss will react to a certain situation, or when we can predict how our siblings will support us in a decision. However, when you’re trying to attract someone or make changes to an existing relationship, a little unpredictability can go a long way. Changing things up can get the interesting men in your life – the ones whose eyes you’ve wanted to catch for a long time – to take note and notice that something is different about you. Or, trying some new things in a relationship can break you and your man out of a stale routine that has developed over time.
Confident women are always pushing themselves to try new things, and it can be easy to fall into old patterns based on insecurities. But, with a little effort, learning how to be unpredictable can go a long way toward improving your life, strengthening your confidence, and getting you closer to life goals than you thought possible before.
Evaluate your routine
The main idea behind being unpredictable is to try something new, but what exactly does that mean? It can be something as simple as having a different side dish with dinner than what you usually have, or having lunch at a restaurant that’s not your usual place; but those things will likely not lead to much overall change in your life or relationships. They can be good places to start to practice being unpredictable.
The first thing you need to do is establish what your routines are. Do you always take the same route? Do you always react the same way to situations? These are things that are probably so natural to you, you don’t even notice when you’re doing them.
For example, some people have short tempers and are quick to anger when something goes wrong. It becomes predictable to people around them that if something happens which might upset them, they will go from “0” to “angry” in no time flat. Therefore, those around them may try to keep them from being angry, or may suggest anger management tactics in order to help change this behavior. But the person who angers so quickly may not even realize that this is their typical pattern of behavior until someone points it out. They probably assume that they are just like everyone else – that everyone acts that way and is so quick to get mad.
First, try to make a list of behavior patterns you notice in yourself, or that others have pointed out to you. Has anyone ever said “Whenever you’re upset you always …” or “You’re like this every time you …”? Those are good places to start. Make a list of what you do when you’re angry, sad, disappointed, joyful, excited, or any other emotion. Start noticing how you handle various situations at work and daily life to get an idea of where to begin.
How TO Be Unpredictable – Do Something Different
Now that you’ve gathered this information on yourself, what do you do with it all?
First of all, it’s very difficult to change behavior patterns as a whole, so don’t expect that you’ll be able to make a switch overnight. Again, you may think that you are just “naturally” that way and you can’t be any other way. The first few times you try to do something differently it will feel uncomfortable, awkward, probably anxiety provoking. That is totally normal, and it won’t be easy to get past.
Pick one of the things on your list that you’d like to work on – something that you’d like to be less predictable about. Maybe, when you’re sad you always overeat to help you feel better. Or maybe when you have had a bad day at work you always want to watch your favorite movie to make yourself smile. Starting with something small like this can make it a little easier. For the items on your list that you choose to work on, come up with some alternatives that you can do the next time the situation comes up.
Instead of overeating when you are sad, you could try going for a walk, calling a friend to talk, or doing chores around the house. When you’ve had a bad day at work, try going to the gym, drawing or sketching an interesting local spot, or taking a long hot bath with a book or magazine. Doing something different may not make you feel the exact same as it normally does – but that’s the point. It will begin to change your brain chemistry and help you realize that other ways of dealing with the same-old problems can make you a more versatile person.
Taking It To The Next Level
Once you’ve begun to break out of old behavior patterns – working through the discomfort and trying new things on for size until they don’t feel so awkward – you can try to become truly unpredictable and spontaneous. Opening yourself up to trying new things and getting out of old habits can make it easier for you to try even more new things when someone suggests them, or when you’re introduced to them. Confident people are always looking to try new things and push their boundaries to new places, often finding out that they are capable of things they hadn’t thought of before. Making yourself unpredictable and open to trying these new things can make you more confident, and in trying them your confidence in yourself can increase. It’s a self-strengthening cycle that others will certainly notice.
Whether you decide to make yourself unpredictable in a number of situations, or only in certain ones, you have opened the door to new experiences, new relationships, and how to drastically change your life. Confidence breeds success, and you can use your new openness to experience to your advantage. You can make yourself strong in the ability to try anything, do what you couldn’t do before. People will certainly notice the change in you and your behaviors, and people will definitely respond differently to you than before.
Tips on how to be unpredictable will definitely help you increase the quality of your life. Your self-confidence is another important thing that influences your happiness. If you want to learn how to be a more confident person, subscribe to our free self-confidence newsletter. Enter your best e-mail address below to get our free publication “7 Mistakes of Shy People” and get daily self-confidence tips.